In the City

The first weekend in Dec we take a trip to the city of San Francisco

I like the cable cars and thought they were really cool all decorated for the Holiday Season.

it just gets me in the holiday spirit
This week I am preparing for my little family's new years celebration and getting ready to also take my son back to college on Sunday, but later this month I am hoping to spend a weekend in the city of San Fran and take a seminar that I have been so thrilled about. I don't think I am one who would enjoy the city life but I do love coming to San Francisco and visiting and since I live about two hours away it is nice to know I can go when I want.

It's My Party

So recently I celebrated my 48th birthday I love my Birthday and though some people do not enjoy the fact that they are getting older I love to embrace the fact that I am. it is a graceful process, of course I have wrinkles, they tell a story on my face a story of where I have been in these 48 years and as I age they will continue to do so. I know I need to seriously work on exercising and getting my body in shape and stay healthy but here is the thing I look at about birthdays it is not only do I get a year older I get a year wiser!

I did not really have a party normally we would go out to dinner as a family but since it was during the week and my son is not home from school yet ( his winter break began last Sunday) I decided that I would rather wait till we can all be together.

My daughter and her boyfriend made me a homemade dinner and bought me a black forest cake which was wonderful and I appreciated it so much.

So I am looking forward to when my son gets home and we have our family outing and dinner I am in the process of deciding where that will be after all it my party! LOL!!

It's the most wonderful time of the year

Every year one of my sister's charter's a bus for the ladies on both sides of her family and we go for a day of shopping in San Francisco. it has become a tradition. the bus ride is fun my sister holds a raffle so that some lucky winner will win their money for the bus back, then someone always makes Mimosa's for those of drinking age!

My daughter and I always have a good time so getting up early and returning home late in the evening this one day a year is well worth it. we do some shopping but for me it is just the quality time I get with my daughter and this year my eldest niece hung out with us which was great. ( she usually is with her daughter's and sister but they could not make it this year)

Our first stop is Union Square shopping center, where the three of us purchased items in a nice little silver store, of course my daughter had to see AF, Pink, then off to Anthropologie store that is always a favorite they have such unique items and beautiful clothes then off to Old Navy for the big sale, finished there then a walk to the General Bead where my niece found what she was looking for, walk back to union square and daughter went to Forever 21 while my niece and I stayed outside and listened to a man preaching and seeing the Santa Clauses walk all around the city. 4 pm off the the pier where we visited the Gap and made a purchase. took a walk and ate dinner at Joe's Crab shack. where we had a window view of the people walking up and down the sidewalks and looking at the street artists while enjoying the ambiance of the waiters and waitresses dancing in Joe's. after dinner a brief walk to Kara's cupcakes( they melt in your mouth) and then walk back to the pier.

the photo of the tree is at pier 39 it is so beautiful lit up at night time. grab something warm to drink and back on the bus where there is noise then complete silence ( we ladies actually shop till we drop! seems like everyone somehow ends up taking a little nap till we reach out final destination of home.

though I have more Christmas shopping to do I am looking forward to next year!

Back to the Steps

Sometimes in life we find that we don't know what to do next when we feel confused, upset at the end of our rope we should go back to the steps. No matter what situation we are facing working a step will help focus on one then work it

what does it mean to work a step? think about it focus on about how that step will apply make sure to hold on to it tightly as we hang on to the problem

Steps can be one solution they work , we can trust them to work we can trust were the steps will lead us. we just have to follow the steps to lead us to the path we need to take

what steps are you following?

We Can Trust Ourselves

For many people there comes a time when the issue is not whether we can trust another person again; it's whether we can trust our own judgment again

it is funny how in a blink of an eye life can change your perspective on how you see things and before you know it (depending) on the situation can also change your thoughts and bring you down
I have found myself pondering this question of trust then I came across this passage

" Today I will let go of my fears about trusting myself because I have made mistakes in the past
I understand that these fears only serve to impair my judgment today I will give up my past even my mistakes validity by accepting and being grateful for it all, I will look as to why my mistakes were made and what I have gained from making these mistakes I will keep a wonderful open eye out for improvement in all aspects of my life"

I have had the pleasure of knowing

Aside from my mother there was one woman who just like her was one of the best woman I ever had the pleasure of knowing and that was Thelma Lois Clark Madden (a.k.a. Granny) she was my husband' s grandmother., when I came into the family almost 28yrs ago she and I became kindred spirits she was a week younger than my own mother. and it was such a joy to always talk to her in person and on the phone. we would always have the capacity to brighten each others day and there was nothing that we could not ever talk about.

we had such things in common love of cooking (she gave me a few secret family recipes and tricks she cooked like my mother never measuring anything but it always came out good! we had a love for thrift and antique shopping, and yard sales. and listening to old time ( bluegrass) music as well as country music.

she was strong and told us ( my husband, myself and our kids) the most amazing stories of when she was a girl and when she and her husband met and just so much great family history. she was a leather craft artist we are told the National Cowboy Heritage Museum had made repeated offers to purchase and acquire these free hand leather art work.

The photos were all divided among the grandchildren ours hang on the wall and I take such joy and pride when looking at them they not only are art they are also pieces of family history and that is where they remain in the family forever.

Sadly on Oct 11Th 2010 my kindred spirit left this earth to be with her soul-mate in heaven interesting fact she passed 10 days before the passing anniversary which was sated for 1o/21/10 we all for sure thought that she would not make herself last this many years without him. at least our granny is at peace now and with her husband.

My husband was very close to his grandparents when his grandpa passed my husband could not attend his grandfather's service. My husband had a pneumonia at the time we did however go back to visit granny that summer before she moved out to AZ. His grandparents told him stories of traveling the route 55 so on our way driving to Oklahoma we paid homage and we took the old route 66 route and I-40 and took in the scenery and time.

I am glad that we took the time to do this Thelma Lois Cook Madden (Granny) was a very special person in my life. Our last visit with her was in July she was always happy to see us and she had us sit on each side of her holding our hands looking at my husband telling him while raising my hand and saying to him " This girl is the best she is a keeper you better always remember that you have a rare gem who's love in her heart shines in both of you" I cannot express that since her passing I hear her voice saying those words. I will never forget her she lives in my heart forever.

Thelma Lois Cook Clark
March 1920-Oct 2010

Decision

Seven years ago I had gastric bypass surgery not for the weight loss I had it more so because my high blood pressure was getting bad and also my diabetes. I had the surgery and it all went smooth of course they know more now then they did then, however I did well, as stated earlier I did not lose an over whelming amount of weight I lost a bit but never got out of the numbers I was stuck in and upon my follow up they treated me like they were greatly disappointed in me for not. to me the weight loss was a bit of a perk I had this done to help with the blood pressure and diabetes which it did I was taken off the blood pressure medication and am still on a lesser of the diabetes. But I always felt like something was not right I could intake more fluids and food then I thought and I always felt like my food was stuck going down. but not knowing I just chalked it up to this is the way it is suppose to be.

well of course I regained weight and found out I have osteoporosis and osteo arthritis at the age of 47! I was asked to do some tests and low and behold found out I have a sliding hernia near my esophagus hence why I feel like my food is stuck and I was sent to a bariatric surgeon who gave me some news that has lead me to this state of decision making:

I can take the news two different ways the news is I am a prime candidate for a revision on my bypass apparently when I had it done seven years ago it was fine they just did not go down far enough which is why I did not lose a lot of weight. which is good news if I want to go through everything again of course there are side effects and as the surgeon said we have come along way since you had your surgery. the other way I could take this is do nothing and run the risk of more weight gain as hard as i try and then as I age have the chance of my diabetes and everything ailing me get worse. What to do?

After talking with my husband I agreed to at least hear the Dr's out I agreed to take the tests and see if in fact the insurance company agrees cause after all if the insurance won't pay no way will i be doing this should I decide to.!

that is where I am at going through everything knowing that if the insurance agrees then I have to decide on having the revision or not. having the revision could mean a great deal it could help me with the diabetes, it could aid in a significant amount of weight loss it could lead me to a healthier lifestyle and not always feel like a failure with weight issues!

but on the other side of the coin, there are side effects with everything I mean I had my insides altered once seven years ago should I really mess with that again? I really just don't know, my husband and son say I should do it, my daughter says it is my decision and she supports whatever she just wants to know that I will be around when she is married and has children.
( I plan on being) seven years ago cause it was new she was not happy about me having the surgery at all!. I guess we will find out sooner or later this last Friday I was told that my case is now in review with the insurance company and it looks good due to the hernia.

I have so many things going on in my life to blog about and I hope to reconnect with myself and the blog writing very soon I keep telling my self I am and I somehow get side tracked! I will post what I will decide when i make that decision It just felt good to put it out here in blog land.