Thursday, June 10, 2010

Who Am I ?

I love the life I live everyday good or bad come what may it is a blessing to me. I read a quote by Drew Barrymore once that said " I never regret anything because every little detail of your life is what made you into the person you are in the end" I believe this quote though it is very easy to regret and learn to accept and live with those regrets it is a true statement that every detail of your life makes you the person you are. As of late I find myself wondering who I am.

Who am I? I hope that I am living my life as a loving wife/soulmate/partner to my husband of 27 years marriage is a daily constant work of art in progress that strengthens me. for barley knowing each other as we did and having a whirlwind relationship and having people tell us we would not last we are living proof 27 years later that with true love anything that is worth fighting for is worth it! as I have stated many times my husband Jeff is my ultimate best friend and my soul-mate I found my destiny with him the moment I laid my eyes on him and yes we argue, fuss and fight and agree to disagree but bottom line is we love each other sometimes it is shown with much affection and other times it is unspoken between us and just known I have no regrets about the way we met and married. I am enjoying growing old with this man and I love him more each and everyday. I look forward to the rest of our love/life eternal journey together in the years to come.

As a Mother I hope that I have taught my children to live their lives to the fullest and have shown them unconditional love and respect for us and themselves and to stand in their beliefs, that marriage is worth all the constant, love and respect and support even when you think it isn't and I will continue to do so even though they are young adult. the relationship between parents and children does change as it should I think it gets better but for me my son and daughter have been my constant light and love no mere words could express my everlasting eternal love for them.

they have taught me so many things and I am proud of who they are and who they are becoming and that they welcome me into their lives, I enjoy our conversations I have with each of them. My relationship with each of them is so very special to me My son has taught me so much about compassion he a learner and a teacher and will make a great professor one day. My daughter is my best friend( I know all mom's say that) I kind of relate our relationship in some ways to the "Gilmore Girls" the dynamics the mother and daughter characters in that show shared is what i feel between me and my daughter who I talk about everything she has a quote she likes that says " Be the kind of woman you would want your daughter to be" well my daughter has surpassed that tremendously I am so proud of her and I love and value our close relationship and I know nothing nor no one will ever come between us.

My children have been my sound of reason at time when I needed it most I love that they have a trust in me with no secrets and that no matter what they know that they can come to me with anything and I will always be there to listen, guide, give them a shoulder to lean on a lap to cry on if needed whatever they need without any kind of judgment.

I welcome who they bring that becomes part of our family my daughter has already done so she has brought a remarkable young gentleman whom I have become very fond of not only had this special man Kevin become my best friend for almost a year he and my daughter have fallen in love they are courting and promised and Kevin will one day be my son ( though I already consider him my other son) my husband and son are very fond of Kevin as well and we are glad to have him as a member of our family. We know he will make our daughter happy and they will have a great life when they are married ( after college) and be close to our families.

As a woman well I guess I hope that I am a woman of strength I learned how strong a woman could be from my mother. Bless her soul for all that she taught me and given to me. another favorite quote by Drew that I like is this " I pray to be like the ocean with soft currents maybe waves at times more and more I want consistency rather than the highs and lows" I am working on that in my life.

lately the Beatles song In My Life has been playing over and over in my head.
There are places I remember all my life though some of changed some forever not for better
some have gone and remain all these places have their moments with lovers and friends i still can recall some are dead and some are living in my life I've loved them all.

but of all these friends and lovers there is no one compares to you and these memories lose their meaning when I think of love as something new though I know I'll never lose affection for people and things that went before I know I'll often think about them in my life I love you more.

I do love my husband, kids more

so who am I?
I am me a person who tires to do the best she can daily I hope that the special people in my life
knows that. I have been asked if I think I am beautiful well I am not comfortable answering questions of that nature so I respond with this quote "When I lay my head on the pillow at night I can say I was decent person today that is when I feel BEAUTIFUL