Wednesday, January 12, 2011

The final decision

A while back I posted that I had a decision regarding surgery to make. I went through the motions and got the approval from the insurance company after praying and soul searching I have made the final decision  that I will go ahead with the gastric bypass revision surgery

What I did not anticipate was that the surgery be scheduled so fast I will be having the surgery this coming Saturday. if you read my blog then you know that in this new year I am on a self discovery path and I guess that having this surgery is part of my journey.

I have always found it kind of wonderous how things just happen to come together or fall in place at the right time I am going to say the good Lord and Angels above and on earth are looking out for me this happening the way it is, is truly a blessing.

I also have to admit I am a bit frightened that I am going through with this surgery afraid of how my life will be changing because of this surgery to many questions and thoughts running through my mind. questions like making sure everything is in order that I have letters written to my husband and children expressing how much I love them. don't misunderstand me I believe it will all work out for the best but there is always the possibility and if it is my time then I am not afraid of death. questions like will this work this time? how will my body be changing, and then like what will my life be like having to buy new clothes, will I like what I see when I look in the mirror? the questions just keep going on and on .

Today I am finding what my journey so far as set fourth and I guess it is a winding path of self health and self discovery and the paths are starting to intertwine.

today 's quote in my head
" Calm is the morn without a sound. calm as to suit a calmer grief, and only through the faded leaf the chestnut pattering to the ground" Alfred Loyd Tennyson

Peace and Hugs