Que Sera

Do you remember the old Doris Day song Que Sera, Que Sera,(whatever will be, will be)  lately that song has been playing in my head over and over almost like a broken record, I have been making some changes in my own personal life trying to rediscover who I am and how I want to grow and so I for the last year and a half I have been finding these things out by my own soul searching quest or maybe just taking stock of my life, at 49 I do have some regrets but I believe that things you regret can also be the things that you learn from. . I went back to college it's something that is on my bucket list, it's been interesting I love the fact that it keeps my mind challenged but now I am asking myself the question do I really need or want the degree? at my age what can I do with it? and I have been taking a full 12 units due to financial aid plus working my regular job. My weekends are nothing but home work and I feel as though I have been neglecting my husband, Last night I came to this conclusion I am a wife, mother, sister and friend, and  I like that. I do love being back in school but I have  a math phobia and I don't feel like I need to know algebra to get a degree I made the decision that I will continue school and earn some certificates in fields I like and if and when I am ready to maybe I will take on the math again , but I am 49 I want to enjoy life . my son is getting ready to graduate college in June and my daughter is getting ready to transfer to a college out of state. looking back I am most proud that I raised two wonderful adults who will make a great path for them to follow. I am ok with my decision about college for myself I mean who says you can't change your bucket list! and I have many other wonderful things I want to see and do. so like the song says whatever will be will be.