letting go

I have been reflecting a great deal lately,
As a parent you have many "firsts & Letting go's". after all that is what being a parent is all about.

when you have the baby you are going through the firsts, your first born, first time the child smiled ( even if it was just gas!) ate solid foods, slept through the night, crawled, walked, transitioned to being a big kid and got potty trained!
then you have the other kind of firsts
first dance, first crush, first heartache etc. then those firsts develop into even more, first time they drive alone, go on a date, graduate and go out in the world. As I have been reflecting this I also thought about "letting go" and firsts really go hand in hand, I began to think of it as an art form. because when your child starts to crawl they do it without your help, when they sleep through the night they are alone, when they take those first steps it is without holding on to you. and all the while you are there encouraging them to do so. that is a parents job. in four days I will be experiencing some new firsts and letting go at the same time.

My son is getting ready to go off to UC Santa Cruz and begin his journey in life. I hope it is the greatest experience for him. we have been gathering all the stuff he will need and it is piling up.
when I look at it I get a bit teary eyed and the realization that my son is leaving the only home he has ever known ( leaving in the sense that he will always have his room but he is flying on his own!) hits me. am I crazy! this is what we have all worked towards him especially, he is excited about it. he has worked so hard and well I want to see him happy, we both seem to going through a bit of separation anxiety ( only his maybe cause his girlfriend is staying here!) I am sure though it is cause this will be a whole new world for him. ( mine of course is cause things
are a changing.) I know we will email, text, talk, of course visit. but now (to me it will be on a different kind of level and I have to admit though my son and I are close I am going to miss him
something I will get used to this year.

I will more than likely be posting my thoughts after I have gone through the experience of it.

the last few weeks it has been about some family and friends seeing him and saying "good bye"
I can't tell you how many times we have both been a bit teary eyed. Good tears though.