The Swift Experience

Last Night, my gal Kait and her best friend
Emily had a great experience the three of us
went to Fresno for an intimate concert with
new country artist Taylor Swift.
( Kaitlyn, has seen her twice counting last night
and I have seen her counting last night a total of three)

she always happens to be the warm up for some concert
we have been to. anyway our Emily has never seen her
up until last night. it was such a great experience for
her and we had great seats.Ms. Swift was the headliner.
last night.
she thrilled the audience with all her songs
( Tim McGraw)( Tear drops on my guitar) young and old
were so into the concert it was a great time but what
made it such a special time for all was this young lady
Taylor Swift did what is known as all access
which meant she stayed and signed autographs
and took photos gave hugs with any one who waited in line!

so of course everyone pretty much stayed to have the
experience of that, we ended up waiting an hour and 30 min
in a hot theatre but it was such a great time,
Emily and Kailtyn loved the
photo she took with each of them
and getting her auto graph
(okay, I have to admit so did I after spending that
time in line waiting!)

My two gals were so excited and happy that they
could not stop talking about it on the way home
of how they would practice on their guitars and
write songs

it was such a joy to see my gals eyes full of excitement
come on how often does a girl get to meet one of their
favorite singers! my girls will always treasure this
not to mention I have become the("awesome Mom
ever!")

that in itself was a great Swift experience

Mary Updated

Today Mary is home and it is a blessing
because today marks Mary's 69th Birthday!

actually, Mary came home from the hospital
yesterday and it was a surprise to us that
it would be so soon after all she only had
her major bypass done last Thur.!

but I guess she was bound and determined
to be home,( she always believed home
is where you get the best rest )
I 'm hoping that she did not
come home to soon
well I guess her Dr.s know what they are doing!
so begins her recovery process

she looks good, and is talking one step at a time
she has 6-7 weeks of building her strength up
and after that she will begin a cardiac therapy

she said she is very blessed to be here on
her birthday.

Nieces and Nephews

when I was two years old I was already an Aunt Before
I knew what an aunt was,
my eldest niece is Angela, she is a rare beauty for not only
was she my niece she was my friend and though we lost touch
over the years she is still that rare angel that I remember with
qualities of her father and grandma. I feel very blessed that we
are rekindling our relationship Angela has two grown children
who both have my mother and brother in them

then Angela's sister Jessica was born. she to was my friend
I was so close in age to these girls, Jessica is my down to earth
say what you mean kind of gal and comes by it naturally she to
has so much of her father in her and such a beautiful spirit like
my sister Jeanne.(she is artsy) she has two boys of
her own and you can see her father's spirit
in each of them

then came Sara, she has the prettiest eyes I have ever seen
she is expecting her first child (a girl we are told) Sara loves taking
risks she once answered an ad and became a nanny for a couple she
did not know in New York I guess she is blessed because it turned out
that the couple she nannied for was a head person at a modeling agency
and taught sara how to sign models she did that for a while and left the
big city to come back to her roots back home.

Anthony as a kid he was always tinkering with things
he still does I don't see him much but he is doing well
he has two children of his own and he is quiet like my brother
his father

Brian I call him BRI he has such a big heart
he is caring and he always wanted to have a family
ever since he was a little boy! he just became a dad
a few months ago and is a great dad to his son,
I am close to him because
I lived near them for a while and he is close to my
kids as well

Zan- Sara's sister she is a family person
she is very crafty ( a hobby she enjoys) and a
hidden talent that just astonishes you! she has a beautiful
smile and a contagious laugh and she is great with kids
Suzanne is married but no children as of yet.

Jen- she is a quiet one and has a passion for animals
she has two beautiful children and I hope all her dreams
come true with her husband.

Steve is Brian's brother he is very intellectual
he lives in Japan with his new bride teaching English
I am close to him as well he adores my children and
he and his wife are expecting later this year he to is
a family person .

Lesley she is Jennifer's sister and is the youngest older
(my children are the youngest of the first cousins)I have
a special nick name for Lesley I call her Tizzy Lish don't
have a clue as to why but it for some reason stuck with her
she is a no hold's bar kind of girl rough on the outside and
soft on the inside she has a beautiful daughter named
cassidy

I wrote a post about different flowers from the same
garden well the flowers in that garden spread it seeds
and we have a beautiful bountiful garden with more
flowers to bloom!

When Jesus Looks

This Morning I came across this poem
and I thought it was good to share
Yesterday my sister in-law Janna's
ex-mother in law passed

I met her a few times at family gatherings
she was a sweet lady but her heart seemed
lonely at times, she was a very interesting
character.

here is the poem:(sorry it is so long)

When Jesus looks upon my life
what picture does he see?
does he see his own reflection
or does he just see me

Does he see his likeness
the product of his hand
or just another Christian
who never takes a stand

Does he see a child of GOD
a child that he set free
living life to honor him
or does he just see me

What about the other folks
I meet along the way
do I show them JESUS
to brighten up their day

when someone looks into my eyes
can they truly see
that calm and gently peace of GOD
that dwells inside of me

when I reach out and shake a hand
is he right there in my grip
can they feel that strength from GOD
that steadies when I slip

when folks are in my presence
do they know his spirit's there
can they see that he's the one
who guides me everywhere

when other people think of me
what is on their mind
do they think of JESUS CHRIST
so gentle and so kind

I try to be like JESUS
every single day
spreading love and kindness
all along the way

I'm afraid that I have failed
I could not pass the test
deep inside my heart I know
I haven't done my best

I have had to fight my flesh
since the day that I was born
it's always causing trouble
and being such a thorn

that's why his spirit dwells in me
he's helping me to learn
in every situation
where I need to turn

He knew I'd never pass the test
that's why he took my place
he give his life to save my soul
he suffered my disgrace

now I try to be like him
I must present him well
so other folks will want
his gift and turn their backs
on hell

other folks should see the joy
that CHRIST has given me
they should want to have it too
especially since it's free

they should begin to ask me
what it is they must do
just how it is they go about
getting JESUS too.

then I get to tell them
this wondrous gift is free
it only takes a humble heart
a prayer on bended knee

someday when I'm face to face
with the LORD who set me free
will he see his own reflection
or will he just see me
author unknown

Our Family

"Our Family is a circle of strength and Love
with every birth and every union
the circle grows, every joy shared
adds more love, every crises faced
together makes the circle stronger"

This week has been a test of our family's
strength and love and the above saying
just hit home. As you Know my eldest
sister Mary had a 7 heart bypass, she
is doing remarkably well for what she
went through she is now out of the ICU
unit and is in a private room in the CCU
better known as Critical Care Unit.

saw her today and she is hoping
and praying to be home sometime
this week, but knows she has
a long road in her recovery.

she showed me what she called "battle scars"
I told her to think of them as "SURVIVOR SCARS"
because she is so blessed as we the family are
that she is surviving.

Friday my sis Jeanne came down because
we were having a family gathering Saturday
at sister Helen's to meet Jeanne's first grandson
HUDSON
so with Mary's situation in the mix it made
family being together so much more special
Hudson is an adorable little boy and I will
do a blog about him at a later date.

what made Saturday so wonderful besides my
remaining sisters being together
(Mary of course with us in spirit)

was seeing two of my nieces that I had not seen in
a while, Sara (Helen's eldest daughter) is expecting her
first born in Sept, she knows she is having a little girl
so we look forward to that gathering in Sept.

but we were so blessed Saturday to see our eldest
niece Angela come with her wonderful husband,
Angela is my brother Peter's Eldest daughter
and we rarely get to see her so all of us
were very thrilled and happy and I for one
would like to see more of her even if I have
to drive out to her home town.(I would just love
for she and I to be apart of each other's life a little
more I have missed her very much)

another surprise was my nephew Steven called
from Japan( he is Jeanne's youngest son )
to give us all the good news that he and his wife are
expecting their first if all goes well in January

so the circle of the family is most definitely
strength and especially LOVE

Seven Heart Bypass

Today
I spent the day with my sis Helen
we were waiting in the 2nd fl cardiac surgery
waiting room, while our eldest sister Mary was
undergoing a TRIPLE HEART BYPASS

after waiting for what seemed an eternity
was only approx 5 hrs walking around
familiarizing ourselves with places
Mary's Dr. came in the waiting room and
told us that she had a SEVEN
HEART BYPASS, we never knew you
could have more than a quadruple

but our Mary in fact had a seven heart bypass
we had to wait another hour but when we
went in to the ICU room and saw her laying
there sound a sleep with all the tubes and wires
and computerized monitors on her we
thought ok now we have to get Mary and
the family through the Hard part

for Mary has a long road ahead
and we are going to do our best to
guide her through the long road with
any detours.

I am glad that Helen and I were
there together and that Mary did
not walk alone today.

Mary

"A sister is God's way of proving
he does not want us to walk alone'

Today my mind has been else where
My oldest sister Mary has been kind of
like the motherly patriarch in my family
as far as I can remember, she helped raise
me and was my parents second in command(that was
the way it was)
she has given her life to family,never married

my mind is with her today because she is
having a heart bypass tomorrow.
Heart conditions and Diabetes
run very deep in my family and Mary has
had diabetes forever so bad that it is now effecting
her eyesight at the age of 69 (next week)

I am close to her in some ways but
through the years I grew up and
am not that little girl she remembers
me to be.
I am an adult, my own person
but I love the gifts she gave me because
she helped mold and shape me as much
as my other siblings did.

Mary always felt she was the oldest
not the first born but she is the oldest
living, and she has always believed since
she was the oldest she should be the first
to pass, not the case my brother Joe was first
then My brother Peter,

As stated earlier, Mary has always been
the family care taker, she retired a few
years back and has been taking care of
my sister Linda's grandchildren.

I know there are things Mary may have
wished to do in her life but she gave of
herself unselfishly, with all her aches and
pains she still gives of herself unselfishly.

today she is going through more
tests and tomorrow the bypass
I feel so much anxiety because
I know in my heart she will be fine.

the procedure is a must she has put it
off for to long, but also I have been
down this road so many times
with my family, some heal well
and other's God called them home.

What ever God has planned for
Mary I hope it all goes well. I know
she is a strong person, because she
has endured so much in her life
thus far, She is strong in her
Catholic faith, that and family
is what has sustained her all
these years.

I spoke with her yesterday while on
her way to her diagnostic test
and was able to tell her
"I love her"
I know she knows that, but I
just had to tell her like all
of my other sister's we want
Mary to know that as our
Big Sister we will never let
her "walk alone"

class

"Real courage is when you know your licked
before you begin, but you begin anyway and you
see it through no matter what"
taken from to Kill a Mockingbird


well yesterday I took my first step and entered the college world
I had my first math class pre-algebra
I had a lot of home work for the 1st day
but what did I expect it was in fact the first
day!!

I was full of anxiety & stress
because I thought I would
be the oldest kid in class ( so I meditated a bit)
but to my dismay
I was not there are more class mates my age
and a little older in fact we are the majority!

the homework was hard but I think it was
basically just getting my mind back into
doing math mode and trying to learn
the new math, math that I did not have to take
when I was in high school or my early days of college
well I am going to try to muddle through this
almost through the week the class is only 3 days
a week for 5 weeks.

one week almost down 4 more to go
wish me luck!!!

truthfully it was not as bad as I
thought it would be.

Instead

Do not think of what you do not have
Instead~Appreciate what you have
and can still have

Do not think of things lost
Instead ~ value what you still
have and yet may find

Do not cry over spilled milk
Instead~ rejoice in what was left

Do not think of what you are not
Instead~ be humble with what you
are and can still become

Do not think of what others say
Instead~ concern yourself with
what you affirm to be

Do not think of the hours and days past
Instead~look eagerly to times that are
yet to come

Do not think of mistakes committed
Instead~ count the things you did right

Do not think much of the pain you have
caused
Instead~ plan for ways to make amends

Do not think of what you failed to do
Instead~ think of those that you were
able to do and can still best do

Do not think of the sufferings you now bear
Instead~ look to draw the comfort when
relief draws near

Do not consume yourself with thoughts
of what could have been
Instead~ marvel at what has become
and will become

Do not be anxious to attain greater happiness
Instead~ content yourself with the bliss

Do not aspire to fill your cup at once
Instead~ have the patience to do it
little by little and if by chance you
fail do not fret over the empty part
on top
Instead~celebrate the space filled up

Do not condemn nature when it is at
it's worst
Instead~think of times when it was at
it's best

Do not blame luck for things you miss
Instead~ learn from things in which
you have been remiss

nor should you curse luck or others
for life's misfortunes
Instead~ accept them as a part of life

I say then Live Fully, die a little,
learn much,but question less
have enough but give much more
be contented each time to crave much less

doubt less and affirm a lot
understand more and be
understood less

worry little but hope you must
accept all resist the least
for all things happen
in due time
they must

Banjo's and Keith Urban!

Yesterday, (since my daughter was camping
my husband Jeff and I and our son Kiel
pronounced (kyle) went to do one of our
favorite pass-times, going through Antique Shops.

we had a blast! Kiel is very musically inclined and
he loves to teach himself any kind of instrument
he also loves antiques so we ended up in one of
the many stores and Kiel came about a banjo

so we of course bought it for him. for being in the
early 1970's it was in great shape. we then went
to buy some extra strings and Kiel is now learning
to play ( he is pretty good already since he is an avid
guitar guy!) took Kiel home and Jeff and I headed
to San Jose for a concert with Keith Urban !

(if you ever have the opportunity to see
Keith Urban in concert I recommend that
you do)

The girl band the Wreckers played first
for about 30 min. then at 9:00 pm
Mr. Urban came out and played for
two hours straight.playing his old stuff
and new ( Jeff and I had
floor seats so it was a great view)

I was not sure that Jeff would like the concert
he just knew that Keith was the Australian country
singer,and married to Nicole Kidman by
the end of the night he was blown
away and hooked! we had such fun

so 6-15.07 will always be to me
Banjos and Keith Urban!!!

"life isn't measured by the
number of breaths we take
but by the moments that take
our breath away"

The First Step

" All our dreams can come true if we have the courage to pursue them"
Walt Disney

I have always admired Walt Disney's work (Disneyland, Disney Movies, Books, Etc)
and found him to be a fascinating Man.

my friend Shanna's husband is the biggest Walt Disney fan I know.
Walt's words are Chris's philosophy in life and he has built a thriving
business of course he had a great deal of help from Shanna!

I love the above quote because I am about to embark on making one of my dreams
come true. At the age of 44. I am returning to college and earning my degree.

I have taken this path before but somehow sidetrack myself I have never finished.
This time I am bound to finish with out any sidetracks.

I am full of emotion, excited and scared at the same time, through my journey of
self discovery.I feel that this is the first step I must take and hopefully
it's the right time.

I begin this step Monday and only taking one class Pre Algebra, math has never
been my strong suit.
my two teenagers at home have graciously volunteered to
be my tutors and help me through ( hope they know what they have gotten themselves
into!!)

Am I CRAZY!! I wonder? for me this going back to school is to say that I accomplished that
in my life time.

"If You can dream it, You can do it"
Walt Disney


well I hope Mr. Disney is right.

alice through the looking glass

Last night I had a dream about
" Alice through the looking glass"

I am not sure why this dream occurred
it is one of my favorite classic stories
and this is the part I cherish the most.

A boat beneath a sunny sky
lingering on ward dreamily
in an evening of July

Children three that nestle near
eager eye and willing ear
pleased a simple tale to hear

long has pulled that sunny sky
ecohs fade and memories die

Autum frosts have slain July
still she haunts me phantom wise
Alice moving under skies
never moving by waking eyes
children yet, the tale to hear
eager eye and willing ear

Lovingly shall nestle here
in a wonderland they lie
dreaming as the days go by
dreaming as the summers die
ever drifting down the stream
lingering in the golden gleam
LIFE what is it but a dream
Lewis Carroll

I Wish

I wish you enough sun to keep your
attitude bright no matter how gray
the day may appear

I wish you enough rain to
appreciate the sun even more

I wish you enough happiness to
keep your spirit everlasting

I wish you enough pain so that
even the smallest joys in life
may appear bigger

I wish you enough gain to
satisfy your wanting

I wish you enough loss to appreciate
all that you posses

I wish you enough hello's to get
you through the final good-bye


Last Saturday, my family and I attended one of
my cousins son's high school graduation picnic
it was really great to see my remaining aunts, uncles
and cousins who you tend to only see at weddings or
funerals, I love hearing them reminisce about
the family members that have passed and stories
about their youth, and it caused me to realize
how many final good-byes they have had to
say to siblings and family members they have
lost through the years.

but for as many good-byes as they have said
they have had many hello's with the new that
are born to the family that is what is great
because they tell the new about the old.

I then thought how lucky I am to
have had the pleasure of knowing
these people of being apart of their family
and I also thought how great I feel about
my own Nephews, Nieces, and I hope that
someday their children will go to a family
gathering and listen to their Aunts, Uncles,
Cousins, reminisce about those we had to say
the final good-bye to and have many Hello's

Josephine & Roberto

In my first blog I wrote how my mother was my inspiration
I thought I would express a little about my parents and perhaps
about my siblings in future blogs.

My mother Josephine A.k.A. Mama,Mommy, Nana, Tia Josie, Josie, Fina
for a girl who did not finish elementary school she was one of the wisest woman
I have ever known.

she raised her siblings at a young age when her mother passed, when her father
remarried, she fell in love and married a man ( an acquaintance of my grandfathers who
was 1 year older than my grandfather) Times were very different in those days.
they of course started a family of their own.

My mother Josephine was a devout Catholic but always told me that when I
became an adult it did not matter what faith I accepted as an adult as long
as I believed in God. but through our youth we attended catholic mass,and
all that went with that.
she was a good cook, loved to collect recipes but seldom made them
funny I collect recipes too.
she was the friendliest person and always well respected , accepted people for who they
were, never a judgemental bone in her body.

She had beautiful dark brown eyes, dark hair, she looked like a Beautiful Native
American maiden. she had a wit about her, a calmness, but could give you a
look that meant business if she was angry at you.

she believed in the old wives tales, I remember one time my oldest niece Angela
was pregnant with her first child, and another of my nieces was eating a Marsh mellow
Angela, looked at my niece eating the marsh mellow my mother noticed this
and I was told to get a marsh mellow because The Baby wants a marsh mellow!
so I did as told and got the marsh mellow ( I have always wondered does Rob like
marsh mellows?)
she also believed in the old remedies like putting hot onion on a splinter to draw it out,
placing an egg yolk in a bowl under the baby crib,and my personal favorite when ever
a baby is around you must touch their little hand to keep evil spirits away!
but most importantly Karma Comes Back At You.
She would tell stories of her youth and her encounters with "spirits"
of course we did not believe this but my Uncles would always back her up.
she crocheted beautifully,and had a green thumb,
At the time of her death in 1986, my husband and I were living in Hawaii
we spoke to her on the phone all the time my husband was very fond of my mother

One morning I was awaken from a peaceful sleep by a rush of wind whisking through
my body I knew no window was open, but that rush of wind left me calm and gave me
a chill at the same time, I looked at the clock and noticed it was 4:45 am Hawaiian time
which meant it was 7:45 Ca time. I startled my husband and as he awoke the phone
rang, I told him it was someone calling to say mom passed, my husband looked at me
and said I was crazy and answered the phone. after that call he asked me how did I know
and I told him about the cold wind rushing through me. that same feeling happened a year
later when one of my mother's sisters passed. never again did I doubt some of my mom's
wives tales.

My Father Roberto- A.K.A. Daddy,Papa, Berto, I did not know my father as well as my mother other than when I was born he was in his 60's. I remember his piercing baby blue
eyes that would make any girls heart melt, and that he had a smile that could brighten a room
his love for his family and grandchildren, I remember the grand kids getting plenty of leg
horsey rides from papa
He loved to bring home Big pieces of bubble gum from his trip to the barber shop
he would always have to have mama's flour tortillas at every meal.
went to church when he wanted to,other wise he prayed his own way,
he did not believe in banks, upon his death we found wallets of cash to pay for
funeral etc.
I remember watching westerns with him and my brother Joe on Saturdays
he too had a green thumb, (when younger he worked in coal mines)
loved to bring home A&W Root beer in the plastic gallon,
but what I remember most about my father was the way he always looked at my mother
he was much older than she but looking at him look at her you could see in his eyes how much he loved her.
my father passed away in 1979 at the age of 82

The Hiding Place

Do you have a hiding place? A place inside
yourself that keeps all your secrets,desires,
that you are unable to reveal?

As far back in my youth as I can remember
I have always visited this place deep inside
my soul.

See it started at a young age and is still in
my present, I tend to visit this hiding fortress
inside me whenever my life seems to be losing
it's balance.

this place can have two sides it can be my
emotional safe haven with a guiding light
( I also have a physical place but that is another blog)
that comforts me with strength .

and the other side, where it is a dark haven
and I am weak and full of insecurities.
(sometimes more than not I visit this place)

Being the youngest and having elderly parents
I have always felt "misplaced" in my family
I know that I was and loved by all but I never
knew where I fit in except for being the "baby"
what was my place in the family and yet there are
times that even today I still wonder?

I may never know the answer all my siblings are quite older
than me the youngest to me we are 10 years apart
they used to joke where I would always hear
"we found you in the sewer patch" and I would think
to myself is there really such a place? or "mama, loves me
more" though I know they were teasing those remarks hurt
and have left a bit of an emotional scar ( I will say this
that I am a late in life child and I'm glad that I was
born to my parents) carrying all that hurt
from those remarks and throughout my life
I learned to develop a tough skin and visited my
hiding place where I would not allow my self to feel
the hurt.

I developed bad self destructive habits but have since
been healed in that department thanks to a great deal
of self discovery.

The safe haven part of my hiding place
gives me strength in so many ways
it helps me to heal and to stay strong
and realize that each day starts a new.

I am stronger than I gave myself credit for
I do not need to be destructive to myself
I do not need to hide from hurtful feelings
I am not perfect and this journey of self
discovery is pretty facsinating
where ever this journey leads me
I will gladly take each day to
discover the me that won't retreat to
her hiding place.

When Food Is Love

I once read this book entitled "WHEN FOOD IS LOVE"
written by Geneen Roth, in fact I pretty much own
all the books she has written.

I have always found myself in some kind of lost
world when it comes to food, after all you need
it to provide the nourishment it needs to keep
your internal engine running.

I can not recall when food was never on my mind
I have been through such a bad"love affair"
with food, I have always been a 'heavy gal","fat
"pleasantly plump"
by medical terms now labeled "obese"

I came from a childhood of eat everything on
your plate,"there are starving kids in China"
and I learned to eat fast so I could have
seconds.(won't deny my mother's cooking was
really good) or when I was upset I would get
cookies or something sweet for comfort to help
make my upset feelings go away."emotional eater"

I accepted it though, when I was in junior high school
I was put on weight watchers, and I would take
for lunch what I was supposed to while other
kids were eating what ever they wanted to
(weight watchers has really changed since then) it continued
and in my adult hood it was nutri -system ( the old one)
and diet pills, shakes, and even tried the famous
Oprah diet that was nothing
but liquid ( that one only lasted a few days!)

through my teen years and in to my mid 20's
I have been a closet binge & purge person
never labeled "Bulimic" but now labeled "Food Addict"
"compulsive Eater" ,"B.E.D." better known as "Binge eating disorder"

I had gastric bypass surgery almost 4 years ago but
not for the weight loss it was for other related health
issues, I lost approx 80 lbs, and it did serve it's purpose
for the medical issue but it felt like failure on the weight
issue. since then I have been an avid "yo-yo" person for
the last three years, and now when something food wise
does not agree with me, I automatically purge (guess you could
say from the gastric bypass surgery I know have a built in
purge machine in me)

at first the binge and purge issue was for weight loss
but I did not lose a lot of weight( OK, honesty check)
when my husband and I were stationed in Hawaii
I went from a size 16-to a size 5-6 in less than a year
then we came to visit and I was told how "good"
I looked and that I also looked "sick" I did not
care I loved getting the "good" compliment better
but after that visit something inside me began to
break, it was not wanting to be thin that I purged
I began to realize that I had been purging to feel
comfort , to self medicate, when I felt my life was
not in balance, sometimes I got to the point where
I would binge eat till I blacked out and then purge
to cleanse the pain and guilt feelings, I became quite
good at it and learned to hide it well.

I have kept this habit up for most of my life
there are times even now that I get the urge
but through a lot of hard work I have and still
am overcoming and accepting me whoever that maybe
my bad "love affair" with food isn't taking over my life
I am not a size 6 and will never be, just being
healthy spiritually and physically is more important
and if it takes me my life time to do it then so be it.

I still have weight to lose but at my age I don't
harbor on that I just try to make healthy choices
on a daily basis with out depriving myself
and never fall back into that crazy affair because
food is what we need to nourish the beautiful
internal engine inside and to make it glow on
the outside but I do not need it to nourish my
soul no matter what the size.

note: I have never expressed this private
part of my life to anyone, not family or friends
for fear of being judged and I hope that
since I am writing my expressions that
there will not being any judgements.

power of prayer

Almost two years ago my dearest friend
was hit with a double whammy
her then 18 year old son about ready
to graduate high school was diagnosed
with a rare form of soft tissue cancer
that had spread pretty quickly.

as Michael began his treatments
my friend Shanna found out she was
pregnant.( which was a surprise because
a few years prior she miscarried at 6mo)
she did not know what to make of all this
she was trying to be strong for her son
and she was trying to enjoy the pregnancy
as best as she could do to the circumstances
so she created a website where family and friends
could be informed on Michael's progress
and leave him nothing but positive messages.

this was really hard for me cause I have known
this young man since he was 8 years old, and
he and his brothers and my children used to
hang out go kite flying and all sorts of things
it was kind of like watching one of my own
going through it.

the message board she created really was
inspiring. people all around the world
would leave inspiring messages,
my daughter even wrote a poem for him.
Michael said he was going to be cured
by his 19 Th birthday.

Shanna had to believe
that was the case. because she could
not believe that God would take one
child away to give her another,

Michael stayed strong throughout
all the treatments, he wanted nothing
but positive thinking even when he was so
down.

The Doctors even were not holding much hope
but then Michael began to heal and every ones
prayers had been answered by our Lord .

Michael's cancer was gone before his
19Th birthday, His doctors could not believe
how fast his cancer was healed, ( we all know the
Lord had a great deal to do with it)

We saw Michael at his dad's
40Th birthday party and you could tell he was
slowly getting back to himself. His mom delivered
a beautiful baby girl ( she has three boys)that Feb

Last Feb we celebrated Hannah's 1st birthday and
Michael being cancer free

Michael will turn 21 in Nov. I talked with Michael
(Mikey ) as we call him and I asked him how he felt
he said he did not know why he had to go through what
he went through but in a strange way he found a hidden
talent he has( making videos) his family was brought closer
together and he does not take life for granted and a funny
note: he enjoyed getting brownies from his favorite 2ND mom Me!
whenever I see him I have to take him homemade brownies because we
used to bake them when he was 8 and he has fond memories of it.

he also said it was great to rekindle old friendships, and make new friends
all over the world through the old website.

at the same time of Michael's battle of cancer
there was a reporter for the San Francisco Gate
that was also diagnosed with a rare soft tissue cancer
she has chronicled her battle as she is living it
her name is Alicia Parlette
she has endured so much that we all keep her
in our daily prayers and hope that she will
be a miracle too
in one of her writings she said this

"This is what life is
going along for the ride
taking moments as they come out
and being able to pull out all the
beauty in it all"
Alicia Parlette

I say she is right, Life isn't always
beautiful but it's a beautiful ride.

A Woman Should

A Woman Should Have...
enough money within her control
to move out
and rent a place of
her own even if
she never wants or
needs to

A Woman Should Have...
something perfect to wear if
the employer
or date of her dreams
wants to see her in an hour

A Woman Should Have...
a youth she's content to
leave behind

A Woman Should Have...
a past juicy enough that she's
looking forward to retelling it
in her old age

A Woman Should Have...
a set of screwdrivers
a cordless drill and
a black lace bra

A Woman Should Have...
one friend who always
makes her laugh
and one who won't let her cry

A Woman Should Have...
a good piece of furniture not
previously owned by anyone
else in her family

A Woman Should Have...
eight matching plates
wine glasses with stems
a recipe for a meal
that will make her
guests feel honored

A Woman Should Have...
a feeling of control
over her destiny

Every Woman Should Know...
how to quit a job,
break up with a lover
and confront a friend
without ruining a
friendship

Every Woman Should Know...
when to try harder
and when to walk away

Every Woman Should Know...
that she can't change
the length of her calves
the width of her hips
or the nature of her parents

Every Woman Should Know...
that her childhood may
not have been perfect
but it's over

Every Woman Should Know...
what she would and
wouldn't do for love
or more

Every Woman Should Know...
how to live alone,
even if she doesn't
like it

Every Woman Should Know...
whom she can trust,
whom she can't
and why she shouldn't
take it personally

Every Woman Should Know...
where to go, be it
her best friends kitchen table
or a charming inn
in the woods
when her soul needs
soothing

Every Woman Should Know...
what she can and
can't accomplish
in a day,a month
and a year.

by: Maya Angelou

TIPS TO LAST A LIFE TIME

1. Know The Truth
2.Stand For Something
3.Have A Purpose
4.Take Action
5.Don't Wait To Decide or To Do What Is Right

" Fools Rush In"

"Wise Men say Only Fools Rush in But I Can't Help
Falling in Love With You"

I love hearing the words in this song sung by Elvis Presley.

Have you ever seen the comedy movie "Fools Rush In" with Salma Hayek
and Matthew Perry, it is one of my all time favorite movies because some
of that movie mirrors my relationship with my husband.

On Nov 1st, at the age of 19, 28 days before my 20th birthday while working and living
in Yosemite National Park, I met my "soul-mate" while he was vacationing.
our meeting was such natural combustion it was literally love at first sight!

we married on May 1,1983 (though some say it would not last) we celebrated our 24th wedding
anniversary last may. we have two beautiful children our son 17, and daughter 15.

I won't deny that marriage is hard work and we have worked at it, especially because we did have such a whirlwind relationship.

" A relationship must weather many storms
sometimes, it's sunny and beautiful
other times it does not matter what you do
it's going to sleet, hail,
that is why you need to stay open to each other
no matter what the weather"
from the notebook

through our 24 years we have weathered many a storm
sometimes almost to the point of bailing, but we managed
to always pull through together
My husband Jeff is really apart of me in so many ways
he is my soul-mate but he is also my best friend
this is kind of cheesy but we have a saying to each other
that reads "you bring out the best in me"

we have never lost sight of what we believe and
hold true which is:

Love is patient and kind
it is not jealous or conceited
or proud
Love is not ill mannered or selfish
or irritable
Love does not keep a record of wrongs
Love is not happy with evil, but is happy
with the truth.
Love never gives up and it's
Faith, Hope, and patience
never fail
Love is eternal
meanwhile these three remain
FAITH,HOPE, and LOVE
and the greatest of these is
LOVE!

kaitlyn's birthday

"The Bond between a mother and daughter is love"

I love this saying, one of my nieces had it engraved on a bracelet she gave her mother
on her wedding day.

mother's and daughters go through such a roller coaster ride of life together from the time
they are born till they grow up and become mothers of their own children.

I wrote in a earlier blog about my difficulties of becoming pregnant when i was blessed with my son after his birth I was told that I would not have anymore children, but two years later out of the blue I was blessed with my daughter Kaitlyn who today on June 3rd, turned 15

Kaitlyn is not like I was a 15, she is such a level headed young lady, knows what she wants out of her life and I am certain that she will achieve all that she sets out to accomplish.
she is strong in her beliefs and convictions and has the love of the Lord in her and is living for
him ( makes a mom happy) because most kids at her age are doing something else.

she is a beautiful gal inside and out and I love the way she sees life looking through her eyes
even though we have our moments of drama (all mother's and daughters do )she is my and will always be my daughter and I her mother.

we went shopping in San Jose ( one of kailtyn's favorite things to do!) we had fun she bought a digital camera to replace one that got stolen last year on her 8th grade graduation, and then looked around for some thing new to wear ( every girl needs that!) then the four of us
went out to dinner at the olive garden (one of her favorite places, since she is a vegetarian)
came home and had her baskin robbins birthday cake (she only likes vanilla ice cream)

all in all she had a great 15th birthday and before going to sleep last night she did inform her
father that next year she will need a "car" for her birthday!!!

teenagers got to love them!!!

soak up the sun

Today my son kiel and I did just that
we soaked up the Sun!

he graciously attended an outdoor country western concert
with me and he is not that into modern day country music
but bless his heart he wanted to spend the day with me

I enjoyed it tremendously, we did leave a little early
and had some good Mexican food for dinner
it was great that it was just the two of us and made some
plans of things we want to do this summer.

my husband and daughter had their own
kind of day together

we spent a total of 4 hrs soaking up the sun and
needless to say even with sunblock we did get a
little sun-burnt but our time together was worth it!

Note: Kiel told me he really liked two of the bands
that played.

Take me out to the Ball Game!

Tonight my daughter's softball team
was in playoff game for the championship
pretty close game but as hard as they tried
and time was called they lost by three runs

her best friends team was playing across the field
and everyone from my daughters team and family
members went to watch this exciting last few minutes
this was the team that must be beat they had never
lost a game, and wow they were in the battle with a team who
was low on the board.

everyone was screaming, yelling, crying the coach and kids
looked like they were going to lose it if they lost which is understandable
because all season they were 11-0 undefeated.

As I was watching all the hoop la it came across my mind
this is what sports used to be the thrill of the game
the excitement and not yelling at the umpires, buying a hot dog
from the snack bar at a fair price, a family fun night

these kind of days are rare because things become to commercial
I can not wait till next season I will be looking forward to being
taken out to the Ballgame!

turns out my daughter's friend team won and will play
in the championship game!

sisters

"sisters are different flowers
from the same garden"

Thursday I spent a wonderful day with my sister Helen
she is my rock and sounding board and I love her
with all my heart.

when I was young Helen was already married
so I don't recall seeing her that much but
I did see her when our mother would watch her
daughters, Thanksgivnigs, girls parties etc.

when I got married my husband and I were stationed
in Hawaii and my sister came out for a visit
which made me a bit nervous because I just knew
Helen as my "sister" but her visit created a special bond
between us and I am forever grateful, I don't know what
I would do without her.

I love this little saying about sister's as I mentioned earlier
I have 5 of them and I stop to think we are all so different
yet come from the same parents, yet I think I have a lot of my
sister Helen in me.and for that I believe I am truly blessed.

looking back it was Helen who kind of watched out for me
for she would not let my mom dress me mismatched ( for those who know me I have to match or have close color coordination)

one of Helen's favorite flowers is the yellow rose and I think that flower is truly her, because she has such a beauty that reigns inside and out.

my oldest sister is Mary I for some reason will always think of her
as the pretty red bloom from a barrel cactus because the cactus goes through many facets before it blooms

my sister Eva will always be a tulip because of the silent way they bloom all closed up keep things inside but when they open up what a beautiful flower they are

my sister Jeanne will always be wildflowers because to me she has always had a free spirit that flows and have you ever seen wildflowers flow in the wind? pretty cool,I am close to her as well


and my sister Linda, I think of a sunflower because she has a big smile like the face of the sunflower.

so see sister's are different flowers from the same garden.